There was a scream. I woke up panting. Reality was no longer cognizable to me. It had been like that for quite a while. My schizophrenia medications were not infallible after all. I had some water and checked the time. It’s 02:53. No, 02:23. But honestly, who cares? Time is just a book of memories for me. I remember two things I did today, about thirty minutes total. That’s it. Twenty-four hours of the day are compressed into thirty minutes for me.
Where did the scream come from? It’s like a riddle I just assigned myself. I got up and went to the window. I looked outside. Will I see a person in extreme distress? I imagined it to be a woman. Where is she? Is she being attacked by someone? It’s not safe outside for women at these hours. How old is she? Twenty-five or twenty-six? Is she alone, fighting with those monsters? No, I need to think about something different. It could be a dream. But where is she? Wait! How can I see someone who existed only in my dream with my physical eyes? These organs have their own limitations.
It could be a man—someone so full of rage and sorrow about everything that he could not contain the scream anymore. He must have seen at least twenty years of oppression. Why should I care about their gender? It is easier to imagine the person that way. I don’t discriminate, I tell myself. But who am I being politically correct for? There is a possibility I actually am like this. That felt somewhat comforting. I wished to see the man, as if I were God and could do whatever I wished to. I laughed at myself for a second. I could be God. No! Back to the scream. It’s hopeless. I should sleep. I returned to bed.
I woke up to a scream again. It’s unusually dark outside. I checked the time: 02:23. I checked again—02:23 is right. Did I sleep for a whole day? Not impossible. I checked the date; it’s the eleventh of July, year 2024. What was the date last time? When did I check last? What’s the last date I remember? Some day in October of 2022. I just assumed I had slept for a day. Why is there a scream again? Is that a child? Someone scared of this dark night? I wish I could free them. Is that a woman weary of her daily struggles? Is that a man in despair about the world? I felt like crying; it was too overwhelming. I covered my face with my hands and screamed.
I woke up again, thinking I heard a scream. It’s 02:23. What’s the date? Eleventh of July. Last time I checked it was somewhere in the year 2022. How long have I been sleeping?